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One of the fundamental concepts in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is developing the capacity to identify thoughts, emotions and behaviors. This is difficult for many people, because thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are often confused as "part" of who we are, or our personality and therefore cannot be changed.
Someone may believe, "if I think, I am jealous then that must mean my partner is cheating." It's a thought that is believed to be real. Or, if experiencing anxiety, then that must mean there is a real danger. Or, "since I have behaved this way most of my life then that's the way that I am."
Using a breathing exercise we are able to distance ourselves from our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Distancing ourselves from our thoughts helps us to see that thoughts are just thoughts that originate in the mind and are not reality. Also, we notice that emotions are a product of our thoughts and behaviors a product of our emotions."
By identifying the chain; thoughts lead to emotions, which lead to behaviors, we can start to control our emotions and behaviors by controlling our thinking."
Distancing helps you to see that many of your thoughts are negative, self destructive, and simply not true. Then, you can work on changing the thoughts to ones that are based in reality."
For example, you may think, "my partner is cheating on me" then you feel "angry" then you behave by arguing and fighting with your partner, which leads to a breakup. If you are able to distance yourself from your thoughts, you may see that the thought has no reality to it. When you notice that, then you don't feel anger and you don't argue, thereby preserving your relationship."
Another example, you may think, "I am never going to loose weight" then you feel "sad" then you behave by comfort eating, which leads to your self fulfilling prophecy of not loosing weight. If you are able to distance yourself from your thoughts, you may see that "never" is too general because you have lost weight in the past. Then, you may not get sad and not comfort eat."
A good Cognitive Behavioral Therapist can help with techniques in identifying the irrational thoughts, unhealthy emotions and self-destructive behaviors and provide exercises to help you overcome them. |
